Genesis 2:15 says
that right from the beginning God put man "in the Garden to tend and
keep it".. That literally means "to take charge" of it. Then God
sees that it's not good for him to do this alone. So He gives him a
helper.
In the New Testament probably the clearest passage on the role of the
husband is Ephesians 5:23,
God says
Ephesians 5:23 |
"For the husband is the head of the wife, as also
Christ is head of the church"
|
I was a boy, then I became a young man.
But when I said,"I do take this woman (Rhonda) to be my wife," at that
moment, I became her leader.
This idea of the husband being the head and the wife being the helper
is not popular today. We live in a time of "equal rights." But what
happens in a home with two heads? Let me show you (have a couple come to
the front). Either (1) they will go in two different directions and come
apart or (2) they will follow each other. The one says, "I'm following
you" and the other says, "I'm following you." They end up going in
circles. If you want to go forward together one needs to be the head, the
leader. God says that is the husband.
First, the husband is the head. Then in 1 Timothy 3 Paul
lists the qualifications of an elder, saying "one who rules his own
house well, having his children in subjection with all reverence. For if a
man does not know how to rule his own house how will he take care of the
church of God." Secondly, the husband is the ruler. To rule
means "to stand before, to stand in front of, to take care of, to protect,
to shield from harm, or input." The frustration of most wives is that
their husband is passive. He doesn't initiate; he doesn't take charge; he
doesn't lead. A ruler is not passive. He is active.
1 Timothy 5:8
says, "And if any does not provide for his own, and especially for
those of his own house, he ... is worse than an unbeliever." So the
husband is to be the provider. He is the one who plans ahead to
make sure that the needs of his family are met. So as leader, the husband
is head, ruler and provider.
2. THE RESPONSIBILITY
OF THE HUSBAND: LOVE
Now that we know the role
of the husband the next question is, "Well, what is he supposed to do?
What's his responsibility?" Ephesians 5:25 says,
Ephesians 5:25 |
"Husbands,
love your wives, as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself
for it." |
The
Greek word, for love is the word agape. The same word is in John 3:16 , "For
God so loved the world." In Ephesians 5:25
, "Husbands, love your wives" is a command. So, it is something
that I can choose to do or not to do. Love is a choice. It's also active.
You don't wait until the feeling of love comes. You love first and then
the feelings come.
God tells you to love your wife in three ways. First, in Ephesians 5:25
"as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it."
This is a sacrificial giving kind of love. Sacrifice means giving up
something I want for something she wants. Christ always loved the church.
He never stopped. Even though the church wasn't always loving to Him.
Second, in Ephesians 5:28-29.
Ephesians 5:28-29 |
"So husbands
ought to love their wives as their own bodies ... For no one ever
hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as
the Lord does the church." |
You
are one flesh. Love her. Nourish her. Cherish her.
Third, Ephesians 5:33,
Ephesians 5:33 |
"Nevertheless
let every one of you in particular so love his wife as
himself," |
How
do you want to be treated? Do that for your wife. You will never be really
happy and fulfilled if you're not in love with your wife.
Colossians 3:19
adds a fourth way. It says, "Husbands, love your wives and do
not be bitter toward them." Bitter means to be sharp,
cutting or harsh. Do not be unkind, always tender. Do not be harsh, always
gentle. Never tear down but always build up.
God's love is not conditional. God does not say, "I will love you if
you do something." He does not love because you are something (beautiful
or smart or talented). He just says "I love you (period).
Have you stopped loving your wife? In Revelation 2:4-5
the church had stopped loving and Jesus says to them, "I have this
against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from
where you have fallen; repent and do the first works." If you have
stopped loving (1) remember what it was like when you were in love,
(2) repent and decide to change, to return to the right path and
(3) redo the first works. Do the same works you did when you were
first in love. This is the way to love your wife again.
When a man loves his wife the way he should it is easy for the wife to
submit. When a woman submits to her husband the way she should it is easy
for the husband to love. Don't focus on what your partner should do or try
to change them. Focus on what you should do and how you need to change.
|
by Steve Nicholes
|
 |
LINKS TO . . .
|